Grace & Influence Over Control: Navigating Life with Multiple Health Conditions
Living with multiple health conditions is a lesson in harmony, self-awareness, and grace. It is a reality that requires constant adaptation, not because we are failing or falling short, but because our bodies operate within their own biological framework.
No amount of discipline, willpower, or desire can override that reality.
Yet, so many of us fall into the trap of trying to “fix” ourselves, as though we are broken. We set goals or are held responsible to achieve goals that push against the natural rhythm of our bodies, hoping that if we just try hard enough, we can force a different outcome. We pressure ourselves or feel external pressure to achieve an experience of health that may not be aligned with our biological makeup, believing that if we just do everything “right,” we can bypass the challenges we face.
But control is an illusion. And the more we grasp at it, the more it slips through our fingers.
The Downfall of Control
When managing multiple health conditions, it is tempting to think that if we just find the right regimen, the right diet, the right medication, the right mindset—then everything will be okay. And to a degree, we can influence our well-being through mindful choices. But when influence turns into force—when we try to hammer a square peg into a round hole—it backfires.
Forcing our bodies to comply with an idealized version of health often results in:
Burnout: The mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion that comes from constantly striving for an unattainable state of perfection.
Resentment: Toward ourselves, our bodies, and even the world around us for not bending to our will.
Neglect: When we become hyper-focused on controlling one aspect of our health, we may unintentionally neglect another, creating a ripple effect of imbalance.
At some point, life will show us that there is only so much we can control. And while this realization can feel frustrating—even devastating—it can also be a doorway to peace.
The Power of Acceptance and Grace
Acceptance is not about giving up. It is about acknowledging what is true in this moment and working with it, rather than against it. Grace is the kindness we extend to ourselves when we recognize that being human—especially a human with complex health conditions—means imperfection, fluctuation, and adaptation.
Instead of rigid control, we can embrace:
Self-Compassion: Treating ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a friend navigating similar challenges.
Non-Attachment: Releasing the idea that our worth is tied to how well we manage — not control— our health.
Observation Without Judgment: Recognizing patterns, making adjustments, and responding with care rather than criticism.
Influence vs. Control: The Subtle but Vital Difference
The key to navigating life with multiple health conditions is learning to distinguish between influence and control.
Influence is making mindful choices that support your well-being while respecting your body’s needs and limitations. It is flexible, adaptable, and rooted in self-awareness.
Control is the attempt to force an outcome, often at the expense of your mental, emotional, or physical well-being. It is rigid, demanding, and ultimately unsustainable.
Ask yourself:
Am I making choices that support my well-being, or am I trying to force an outcome?
Am I listening to my body, or am I overriding its signals in pursuit of an ideal?
Am I approaching my health with curiosity and compassion, or with frustration and judgment?
Living with Grace
When we stop trying to control every aspect of our health and instead focus on working with our bodies—rather than against them—we create space for ease, resilience, and self-trust.
Circumstances will arise that we perceive as positive or negative, but ultimately, they just are. The best we can do is adapt. We can make choices that nurture our well-being, but we cannot control every outcome. And that’s okay.
So, extend yourself grace. Accept the body you have. Work within its rhythms. Observe without judgment. And trust that, even amidst the unpredictability, you are doing enough. You are enough.
